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"Omigosh. It was horrible. We fought so much that first year!" We're quoting Glen here, a young husband talking about his first year of marriage. He said: "Before we were married I saw everything in black and white. I was sure I could handle any problem. Ha! Once we were married I discovered I knew zilch." Renee, Glen's wife, admitted: "I cried more the first year we were married than ever before in my life. It was not what I expected." Surviving the First Year of Marriage - Start Before You are Married. What sort of problems will you face? More importantly - how can you survive your first year of marriage? Most young couples contemplating marriage dream about either being a princess in a beautiful wedding gown, or of the excitement of their wedding night and romantic honeymoon. But weddings last a few hours.The wedding night is just one night. Honeymoons are seldom longer than a week. Then what? Do you know the person you are suddenly living with? Sure, dating helped. But dating couples frequently let romance blind them to the flaws of their future mates --- and they are usually on their best behavior. Living with someone is a whole new ballgame. At first, your mate may try to "be perfect." For instance: * A new wife may go to great lengths to make certain her husband only sees her looking her very best * A new husband might lavish his wife with enormous amounts of attention. But is this going to be typical of the rest of their married life? Come on. Let's be realistic. Your Different Upbringings Can Cause Clashes. After a month or two of marriage, you will finally find out what your mate is really like. * Is he humble or is he high-minded? * Is she reasonable or is she petty? * Is she modest or vain? * Is he kind and considerate or selfish and unyielding? When you live with someone you will see them at their best and at their worst: * When they are sick * When they wake up in the morning * When they are tired and dirty after a long hard day at work. Also, there are circumstances that will crowd out the time required for the constant attention shown each other during those first weeks of marriage. You might even find some of your mate's habits are (surprise!) unpleasant. This may likely be because their upbringing was different than yours. * Glen was an only child from Bar Harbour, Maine. * Renee was from Las Cruces, New Mexico and had seven brothers & sisters. Both found old habits died slowly and both had to make adjustments. SURVIVING THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE BY HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR WHEN DEALING WITH DIFFERENCES How will you deal with differences? Glen and Renee both kept their sense of humor. They remembered they loved each other and built their lives around their their similarities. Do that and you will find that you will grow together. Oh, sure: The faucet may still leak and supper may still be a calamity. But you will learn much about each other as you laugh away minor catastrophes. If you can laugh at your minor problems, they will become some of your fond memories. Then you will no longer have to ask: How can I survive the first year of marriage? Because you will have done it.
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Terry Fallon writes articles on the family for several on-line magazines. Please visit our blog site "Our Family Matters" at ourfamilymatters.wordpress.com/
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