The 100% Solution To Marriage Bliss

So often we hear the statistic - "more than half of all marriages end in divorce". And, it is true. But, why? Does it have to be this way? Is there no escaping it? Yes, you can escape it. The 100% Solution is how to escape being one of the 50% that end in divorce.

We have also heard - "marriage is a 50-50 proposition". Really? In fact, successful marriages are a 100-100 proposition. This means I accept my mate 100% and she accepts me 100%. We allow the person on the inside to be the person on the outside, completely exposed. Absolutely nothing is hidden. Nothing is kept secret. No walls between us. No manipulation. And, most of all, No Expectations of certain behavior. The 50-50 solution implies you and your mate are holding back 50% from the relationship. This doesn't work - ever.

But, you might say - "you don't know what he/she had done to me", "he/she is a liar", "I can't trust him/her". May I boldly say - "Get over it". If you want your marriage to prosper, you must put away the past and start fresh because, honestly, you aren't perfect either. No one is the perfect wife or perfect husband or perfect mate. No one is without "sin", so-to-speak. No one does everything perfectly in relationships. Now, this does NOT mean you stay with a mate who is physically or emotionally abusing you. Do not be anyone's punching bag. Get away as fast as you can and get help.

How do I know The 100% Solution works? My wife and I have lived the 50-50 solution with other mates for about 28 years and we both ended in divorce from our former mates. When we married each other we had some rough spots in the beginning because we both were playing by the old 50-50 solution. You see, the old programing stays with you for a long time because it’s usually based upon emotional pain. It’s difficult to let go of the past.

My wife and I discovered The 100% Solution and decided to try it. It was difficult at first because it’s so easy to see traits in your mate that quickly remind you of hurtful past events. But, we decided to say - “Sorry, old programing!” - whenever we reacted negatively.

We have been happily living The 100% Solution for over 10 years with no stress in our marriage and no serious arguments. When we don't agree on a course of action, we don't do it. It's simple. Why would you insist on doing something your partner doesn't agree with? Why would you want to create stress in your relationship? Trust this: If you support your partner 100%, eventually they will support you.

So, what exactly is The 100% Solution? First, I will give it to you and then tell you where we found it. As you read it, you just might recognize it. Here it is.

1) Love is patient.

2) Love is kind.

3) Love does not envy and is not pretentious. It is not ambitious or self seeking.

4) Love bears with all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

5) Love keeps no record of wrongs - it does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. This one is a major stumbling block in all relationships. Reminding your mate of something they did wrong only makes them retaliate with something you did wrong and the argument begins and ends with long lasting resentment.

6) Love is the eternal tie that binds us.

And we have added - Love never criticizes, condemns, or complains. This is the rule above all rules for a loving relationship. If you will just stick to this rule, most of your problems will magically vanish, not only in your love relationships, in all your relationships!

So, do you recognize the rules? We found The 100% Solution in the Bible in 1st Corinthians - Chapter 13. We have been living it successfully because we determined to put the past behind us and create a new future - together.

If you are not interested in the Bible, another helpful resource is the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, PhD. We read this book together and discovered a few little personality quirks we were not aware of. It was a great help. You should be able to find it at your local public library.

Try our 100% Solution and we know your marriage will be bliss.

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Jim DeSantis is a retired Pastoral Counselor providing a free ebook to help save marriages. Go and get it free at - Gifts from Jim DeSantis. Click "Save Your Marriage, Stop Your Divorce" in the sidebar. No email or signup is required. Or, click jim-desantis.blogspot.com

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